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04/12/2005: ""When you're walkin' down the street and a man is tryin to get your business..."

People that you meet want to open ya up like Christmas.
You gotta wrap your fuzzy
with a
big
red
bow
Aint no son'va bitch gonna treat me like a ho...
I'm a classy-honey-kissy-huggy-lovey-dovey-ghetto-princess"
-Scissor Sisters

This week
we celebrate “THE EMANCIPATION OF MIMI” at THE CRIB
with the release of her new album.
We’ll hit you up with a bunch of Mariah Carey videos all night long.
I’ll have a few CDs to pass out to our sexiest guests.

I'm in SHOCK.
It aint no secret now
that Michael Jackson likes to fondle little baby-boy pee-pees.
But my boy, WADE ROBSON?
Nooo !
It aint right.
(Ooh... Wade took his site down today... must be a rough week.)
"IT'LL BE OKAY WADE... CALL ME!"


Synth-POP lovers will dig this hot new band, ELKLAND.
This sexy little boy group is coming to San Francisco next month to open for ERASURE.
I’ll have thick stack of their new album, GOLDEN to give out
on MAY 5 (my birthday).
Enter the SEXY SOMBRERO CONTEST hosted by my tranny pal, PEACHES CHRIST.
The winner will get tix to the SOLD-OUT ELKLAND/ERASURE concert
at THE INDEPENDENT on WEDNESDAY, MAY 25.
It'll be REALLY GAY
and REALLY FUN.
THE INDEPENDANT is such a cool spot for shows.

Britney Spears is retarded.
It’s official… she’s totally pregnant
Actually, I think she’s lying and just eating too much Taco Bell with her ghetto-ass husband.
All she gonna give birth to is a big stinky [ __]

For CRIBSTERS that are over 21
Come represent this weekend and show the man-gays at METROPOLIS
what THE CRIB is all about.
We will be hosting a room at GUS’ “BIG BOY” party this SATURDAY.
JIM HOPKINS will throw down with all THE CRIB hits and some video dance classics.
I have a few spots left on my guestlist
so let me know
If ya wanna go.
DISCLAIMER: EMCEE JUAN2 & VJ JIM HOPKINS cannot be responsible for the things that may happen
to your hot little bodies once you’re there…
even if you like it.

Janet has big nipples.

Check out our events page...
LOTS OF COOL SHIT COMING UP!

-JUAN